Lying..people do it. How can you learn to tell if someone is lying to you?

Here is some quick info on the subject…hope you lie-k it  🙂

  • lying takes more mental effort than telling the truth
  • emotions give people away when lying
  • lying causes more stress and anxiety

When lying people are more likely to:

  • offer shorter responses
  • make more speech errors – more um’s, er’s ah’s…
  • blink more
  • fidget more

On a side note it should be pointed out that:

  • People do NOT break eye contact when lying

Liars as well as truth-tellers are, on average, just as likely to “look you in the eye.”

 

To begin with, there is some truth to the idea that people display or “leak” their genuine feelings when lying. But, these genuine displays of emotion – called “micro expressions” – last only a fraction of a second. As such, these expressions are too brief to be of much practical use…

Specifically, when trying to determine if the truth is being told, people sometimes ask probing questions.

Questions such as:

  • What?
  • Really?
  • Are you sure?
  • How did that happen?

Asking “probing” questions is not as useful as people think. In fact, asking such questions actually makes it more difficult to determine if the truth is being told.

~~probing questions often helps the person who might be lying – it gives them feedback~~- it reveals that you are suspicious.

~~Confidence at detecting deception interferes with one’s ability to actually detect deception.

Practical Tips for Catching Lying and Cheating:

  • Keep a journal of your spouse’s reported activities. Write down the times, dates, places, other people involved, excuses given, etc. Your journal will become invaluable as you compare what’s said with phone bills, credit card statements, atm withdrawals, talk to other people, etc. A cheating spouse is likely to change his or her story, or question your memory, so keeping a record of everything is critical.
  • Keep track of all incoming phone calls. Record the time and number of all calls.
  • Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected times, or make announcements about having to work late, but then come home early, etc.
  • Keep track of your spouse’s mileage, receipts, credit card statements, atm withdrawals, phone records, etc.
  • If you can, check your spouse’s call log. Look for an unusual amount of phone calls. Keep in mind that cheating spouses often store their lover’s phone number under someone else’s name: a friend, a co-worker, etc.
  • Never confront your spouse until you’re certain that you have enough evidence to make your case. And never reveal all of your evidence at once. Most cheating spouses will try to concoct a story to fit the evidence presented

Resources and Information for Catching a Liar:

  • Home Surveillance Equipment – hidden cameras and voice activated recording devices can be purchased in every shape and size imaginable.
  • Comprehensive Background Checks – do you think your boyfriend or girlfriend is lying to you about the past? A background check can veal a lot about a person’s past.
  • Private Investigators – hiring a licensed investigator is the quickest and most effective way to discover the truth.

 

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